honesty is usually the best policy

I’ve never been the confrontational type. Well, I take that back. I’m confrontational only at the wrong times… say when I’ve let the pot boil a little too long and it’s ready to explode (the pot, of course, being a metaphor for my emotions).

One of the things about therapy is looking at how you deal with your emotions. And really, I’ve never done that before… not with any other therapist, anyway. And me? I tend to lock things up. I’ve seen one to many explosions in my day and I try to avoid them.

Which, of course, leads to one anyhow.

So, I’ve been stating how I feel. Maybe not right in the heat of the moment, but after taking a few moments to settle down… otherwise, it comes out more of an accusation then a fact.

WHY ARE YOU ANNOYING THE CRAP OUT OF ME?!?!

as opposed to…

I was annoyed by the tone in your voice.

subtle differences.
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In other YBR (Yellow Brick Road) news, LJ got his first round of Botox last Friday. The doctor actually decided to do less injections then originally planned because she was so impressed by his progress.

It’s really nice to hear that, from time to time. I mean, we do our best, but we see LJ everyday; the differences aren’t so obvious to us.

Anyhow, LJ did great. Of course he cried; I’d cry too getting injections into my muscles. Louie had to step out with Noah. I wasn’t going to take the chance of him passing out; he almost did when I got my epidural with LJ.

But they gave LJ a med that is pretty much like Tylenol 3, to calm him. He was sooo calm and silly! I wish I had videotaped it. He was very giggly.

The Botox is suppose to start working in 7-10 days, but I’ve already noticed a difference; his hand isn’t as tight, he’s moving around more, and he’s tolerating positions (like sitting) for longer periods of time.

For those of you who think I’ve gone crazy and tried to get rid of my babies wrinkles: Botox is also used to reduce spasticity… meaning, the tightness in muscles, called tone. In a lot of CP cases, people use their tone to do things instead of using their muscles normally… like my son uses his tone to straighten out his left arm. It happens most often when he’s frustrated. Botox will take that tone away and allow us the opportunity to show him the correct way to use his muscles. We’re suppose to start intense therapy but I bet it won’t start till after Thanksgiving. Very frustrating.

We also had a team meeting before out Botox appointment, with all of our therapists. But I’ll leave that for another day.

Oh, and to leave on another great note… LJ has gained 2 lbs!!! It doesn’t sound like much, but really, it’s leaps and bounds for him.

In the Mood…

I know, I know, I said I would be working on my vacation posts, but I have a good exscuse! I’m waiting for the pics from the first and second day to come in. For some reason I decided to take the rest of the vacation on my digital camera but the first two days, I used the “old fashion” kind.

This week alone, I’ve had 4 appointments; Beth, Kim, Amy, and the pre-op appointment for LJ’s surgery. Crazy, as usual.

It was great seeing Kim. She is so sweet and understanding. Sometimes, she’s MY therapist too. She really gets that parent’s of special needs kids often need support themselves.

And there it is. I’ve come to terms with the fact that my son has special needs. I have, in no way, accepted it, but I’m starting to be okay with it. I still don’t think it’s fair, I still cry about it sometimes, but if anything, it’s made me more determined. This acceptance has led to many things, including an idea of developing a web site for special need’s parents. Basically, it would be a blog but somewhere parents can come and know they aren’t alone. I think it’s something I’d work on once I started taking classes for my web design certification. More on that, later.

Amy is nice. She adjusted her schedule so we see her Thursday afternoons, which is perfect. We’ve talked about adding on a physical therapist to his routine, but have decided to wait until after surgery. One step at a time.

LJ’s pre-op appointment went well. We ended up getting a general anesthsia appointment. I haven’t really talked about that much here, but it will come in his birth story which I’m working on as well. I got stuck because I couldn’t remember certain details that I wasn’t there for, so I’m going to ask Louie for help. I thought about asking him to guest post, but some things are easier for me to discuss then him.

My friend’s dad, that was in a coma, passed away. Most of his brain was damaged during the two strokes he had. I’ll always remember the things he did for me. He did a lot of things I wouldn’t necessarily approve of, but he did a lot more things with us then some dads do.

My BFF’s dad had a heart attack earlier this week. It was a mild heart attack, but most of his arteries are clogged. He is having quadruple bi-pass surgery today. They also found out he has Emphysema, but if he quits now, they expect him to be fine. He plans to, along with changing his lifestyle.

I’ve been praying for both their families.

But to end on a lighter note, I just noticed that for the entire day, including LJ’s pre-op appointment, my pants have been on backwards.

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