Pregnancy, The First Trimester

As I mentioned before, I didn’t realize I was pregnant with LJ until almost 3 months. Still, I didn’t feel nausea, just cramping. Well, not until my 3rd month after cleaning up dog crap. After that, I got sick a couple of times and was nauseous a few more.

With my first pregnancy (which I miscarried) I got sick at the thought of eating meat. I was in beauty school then and there was this great steak burger place close by. I remember one day mentally preparing myself, trying to get myself geared up to eat some steak (which I love) only to walk into the restaurant and almost vomit at the smell. I ate a baked potato. During most of my lunched, I ate McDonalds french fries and picked at my broccoli in my beef and broccoli.

Of course, now, I’m nauseous all the time. Today, it’s at it’s worst. I remember with LJ I use to think, if I could just get sick, this would be over with. This time, though, I’m not so sure.

I’ve been extremly tired. Louie and I joke that maybe I’m having twins because the symptoms are severe. I haven’t actually gotten sick yet, but the motivation to eat anything of substance hasn’t been there. That’s been mostly at night, though, long after I’ve eaten dinner. That is, until today.

I went to bed with some cramps last night. This morning, I woke up with a keen sense of smell and I knew I was in trouble. I ignored it for a little while and was able to get some cereal in my stomach (disgusting but the only thing we have now). Then I started smelling the diapers in the diaper pail, the cinnamon in my cereal, the cold crisp air outside… just thinking about it makes me want to vom.

Anyway, if I keep talking about this, it’s not going to make it better. I just don’t understand how I can be eating something that taste good but I can still have that lingering feeling…

I hope this doesn’t last another month.

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