LJ’s Birth Story: Part 4

Catch up here.

The nurse that had let us in, must have told the head nurse we were there, because she appeared out of nowhere, hovering like a vulture. That’s when the attacks began.

Have you been taking any drugs? was the first question out of her mouth.

I was stunned. I didn’t even get a formal hello and here I was being berated.

Because if it is drugs, we need to know. He may be going through withdrawal.

How does a swollen head mean withdrawal?! I thought.

No, I said firmly. No drugs.

She looked me up and down and walked away with her chart. I dismissed her and the anger that was on the verge of overwhelming me.

Hi baby, I said as I put my finger in his hand. He was sleeping. He looked okay, except for his head.

When my dad arrived, we went back to our rooms. It was still the same day that he was born, but it felt like it had been days. Louie took my dad back to see LJ and then my dad left, telling us he’d call later. Louie’s parents had already gone home after peeking through the window to see him.

The same head nurse came back to our room shortly after. We did a UA on him and it came back clean. We need to do a CT on him and he needs to be completely still so we’re going to give him a little sedation to put him to sleep. And with that, she left, our questions unanswered.

I still didn’t have any energy so I slept and after a little while, Louie went to wait for LJ to come back from the CT. When he came back into our room, he was in tears.

Louie told me that when LJ woke up from sedation, he starting having seizures. Then the staff kicked him out, after he demanded they transfer him to The Children’s Hospital.

Any security I was feeling was quickly replaced by cold fear.

Then, a nurse came in and told us that they were transferring him to The Children’s Hosp, and that I’d have to sign some forms. Like they had come up with the idea.

When she left, Louie and I fell into each other’s embrace, and just cried.


Once I got myself together, I started to get all the paperwork signed. I begged my doctor to release me so I could go downtown with my son, but he said that I needed to stay at least one night, and I could go. This threw me off, since I had already thought I had been there a night; I hadn’t. It was the same damn day.

I went to see him, again. He was intubated, with the tube taped to his fat cheeks. I broke down again and had to go back to my room.

The Children’s Hosp team came into our room, once they had him in the transportation device. It looked like something pre-mature babies went in, with two holes on the plastic side, so you could touch him

There were two members to either side of the contraption, and one in front, who told us a little bit about the process. He smelled like smoke, and for some reason, I didn’t trust him. But with the other two there, I knew LJ was in good hands.

Would you like to touch him before we go? The man to the left asked.

When I put my finger in his hand, I started to cry again. My little baby was being transported across state line without me.


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