LJ’s Birth Story: Part 3

Catch up on Part 1 and Part 2

It doesn’t matter who is in the room when you’re giving birth, you just want to get through it. I knew I had to get the baby out, fast. So with each contraction, I gave it everything I had.

The doctor’s head popped up at one point and asked me if he could do an episiotomy. My response was to push with the next contraction, thus causing a tear. I didn’t care.

After about 45 minutes, LJ was born at 12:45 a.m. The nurses swooped him up before I could even look at him and Louie turned off the camera and huddled behind the blockade of nurses around our son.

He’s not crying… I thought. My panic started to set in as I twisted my body to the right to try and see. The doctor told me he had to deliver the afterbirth, which was really the worst part of the birth, and then stitch me up and he’d be out of my hair.

I strained to hear anything from him. I could hear the nurses hushed whispers but couldn’t make anything out. Finally, the doctor finished up and left. My body was shaking and exhausted.
A nurse put LJ in my arms and they immediately stopped shaking. LJ was making soft cries and when I spoke to him, he stopped and looked at me. He was wrapped up with a cap on his head, so I pushed my gown down to rest his head against my skin.

After two minutes, they told me they needed to take him. Worry returned and as they left, I barked at Louie to follow them. Despite my anxiety, I drifted off to sleep.

Some moms say that after giving birth, you’ll get the best sleep you’ve ever had. This was not the case for me. I kept waking up, alone, unaware of how much time had passed, let alone what time it was. Every time I woke up, I thought I was dreaming, only to realize my baby wasn’t anywhere near me. This frightened me, but my exhaustion always took over and put me back to sleep.

Louie came back and said they just wanted to keep an eye on him because his head was swollen. I wasn’t able to go see him, since I was still hooked up to the IV, at least until I could walk with a nurse to the bathroom. Louie decided to get some rest, while I anxiously poked and prodded my legs.

After what seemed like hours, a nurse took the IV out. Louie helped me to the nursery that was separate from the healthy babies. We waited outside the wide double doors for someone to let us in.

I saw his tiny feet and hands, and then I saw how swollen his head was and I instantly started to cry.

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